How many kids, or people in general, do you think really take that advice? Maybe 0.1%? I don’t know the statistics, but it has to be very low. Most people tend to learn from personal experience.
If you’ve dug deep enough through my previous posts, you will know that I didn’t have the best childhood, nor is my current situation ideal. Speaking of statistics, research suggests that children brought up in an abusive home have a very high probability of getting involved in abusive relationships as adults. Unfortunately, that’s my reality–for now. But this isn’t about me.
I have to tell you how incredibly proud I am of my oldest daughter. I have feared for so long that my daughters would grow up believing that the crap I put up with their father is normal and history would repeat itself. My oldest daughter is now seventeen, but I’ve had talks with her every chance I could get from about fourteen years of age. I have pounded in her head that she is beautiful, can do anything she sets her mind to, and not to take shit from any boy EVER! Ahh, she actually listened!
She had been talking to a boy for few months now. She liked him, but it wasn’t serious. Not even technically dating status. He seemed alright to me. I never seen any “red flags” per se. I’d allow them to hangout on weekends and they went to a school dance together. She never had a bad word to say about him either. . . Until–I got a text from her.
I could hear the urgency in her voice when I read that this boy had suddenly become obsessively jealous and was threatening to harm himself over her. My advice to her was to cut off ALL contact with this boy and that his Facebook status’ was merely a way to reel her back in. She had already done everything I did and would have suggested before I was able to talk to her. These are her words (paraphrased): I’ve seen first hand where jealousy leads and I want no part of it. If he’s acting this way now, before we are even dating, I can just imagine how bad it’d get if we were dating.
That was proof enough to me that my talks were not in vain and I did something right as her mother. It gives me hope that I can still make a difference in their lives. . . even if I’ve stuck this “for better or worse” shit out for far too long. As long as I do my part at keeping their best interest at heart, I believe they will all soar far!