Holy Mojito!


Let me start off by saying that I am a complete ignoramus when it comes to alcoholic beverages. I’ve pretty much steered clear of alcohol my entire life because nearly every relative, both maternal and paternal, are alcoholics. Alcoholism is “claimed” to be an inherited disorder. I don’t know that I’m buying into that so much anymore.

Anywho, I need pretty pictures and detailed descriptions before I can order. That’s kind of embarrassing to admit! I don’t like beer and I don’t like whiskey. Those two things I know for sure. I also don’t care for shots because I’m not looking to get hammered. I just want something that tastes good and will also make me feel good.

So I went to a Mexican restaurant recently and their menu, well, for lack of better terms–sucked! There were pictures of approximately 6 drinks. All of which only had the alcohol name below it. I asked the waitress what all was in this pretty little drink that you see above and she had no clue. She finally came back to just say “It’s already in a mix.” I thought “What the hell.” I know it has rum in it and I typically like rum drinks so I ordered it.

Mojito it was not! I got straight liquor on the rocks. I’m not even so sure it was rum. Rumor has it (a rumor that I started) that they are not only in the food business, but are also glass blowing moonshiners. I’m sure they picked up my glass before it was fully cured because it had two indents on one side. Ergonomically correct? I think not. I also had a view into the kitchen and I’m pretty sure I seen someone holding my glass under a pipe. The taste suggested that I got the first glass from a new batch. My abs were burning too. Can I call it a workout?

I ended up asking for a large glass filled with orange juice only half way so I could mix it. She asked if Sunny D was okay and I laughed and agreed. Why I thought that was funny I haven’t a clue. Possibly because they were not just out of orange juice, but also club soda, lime, and mint.

It would have normally taken 4-5 mixed drinks to have the same effect as that one Mojito. Not even kidding! I think my speculations have been confirmed. I walked out of there feeling so happy that anyone could have gotten in my face and said whatever the hell they wanted and I would have just laughed. Moonshine: Does a body good. That’s how the saying goes, right?

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