It’s More Than Just Hair

It’s my responsibility as a parent to raise my children in a way that they will be independent, respectful, and a productive part of society. 99.9% of the time, this makes me the “bad guy”. I know that everybody has their own parenting style, but if it’s stupid, I’m going to call you on it. I see a society of children today that lack ambition and are just plain lazy. A sad generation to say the least.

All of my children are different and I treat them accordingly. I don’t play favorites–that I hate very much! I will help them if they need it and I will push them when they need it. I help them realize their potential to boost them to the next level. Not everybody is born with obvious “God-given” talents, but everybody can still be great at something if they put in the required work. You’ll never be anything as long as you tell yourself that. And to tell a child to settle for mediocracy is ridiculous in my eyes.

Last night I was going through the list asking my 13-year-old if she had everything ready for her volleyball pictures that will be taken today. It was yes, yes, yes, until I asked about her hair. I wanted to know how she was going to fix her hair. It really didn’t matter to me how she decided to wear it for the pictures–I just wanted to know. She said she wanted to curl it and wear it down. Her pathetic helpless whining soon started in. I won’t tolerate attitude and I also will not allow my children to say “I can’t”. So, the fight’s on. Not so much with my daughter, but with my husband.

She wanted to boo hoo around that she couldn’t do it. Listen, if she really couldn’t do it then I would have gladly done it for her. The fact of the matter is that she’s seen it done and has also attempted it herself on occasion. I did even help her a bit by showing her how to section off her hair and whatnot. The point is that if I never make her do it herself, then she’ll never learn. Practice makes perfect. We’ve all heard that expression.

So my husband had to chime in and tell me how horribly mean I was being to her. That really pissed me off! He NEVER says a word when I have to get on to any of the other kids. Just this one. Obvious favoritism if I’ve ever seen it! His answer to her dilemma was for her to just give up and wear it straight. Ding, Ding–it’s on!

You see, it wasn’t just about her hair. That’s petty and trivial. The issue at hand is giving up before really trying. I always have to light a match under her ass to get her moving. I don’t know why she gives up so easy, but I’ll be damned if I’ll allow her to give up on anything that I know she’s fully capable of doing.

The argument quickly escalated to him voicing his idiotic opinions.

Him: I’ll never be able to play like Eric Clapton no matter how hard I try. I’ll never be able to run 4/40 no matter how much I practice. I’ll never be able to throw a 90 mph fast ball. I’ll never be able to sing no matter how many voice lessons I have. Some people are just born with these talents. Blah, blah, blah. (At this point I would have rather been talking to the wall!)

Me: You’re right. You’ll never be able to do anything (because of his outlook/attitude obviously). Also, you don’t strive to be like somebody else because you can NEVER be exactly like somebody else. With hard work, dedication, practice, tenaciousness, etc.–you can be great at what you desire to be.

Where there’s a will, there’s a way. I do believe that one can achieve anything he sets his mind to. I try to build up my kids, not tear them down. If I see a talent or interest in them, I encourage growth in those areas. I do have enough sense not to give false hope, so don’t get me wrong there. It’s even evident in adults that a worker is more productive when he is praised for his accomplishments rather than criticized for what may be lacking.


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